Padma Patil (peachy_padma) wrote,
Padma Patil

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After Terry's owl post

Well. The unthinkable, unimaginable, inconceivable has happened. Terry owled me. After what, seven months, he thinks that perhaps, perhaps we can just pick up where we left off? That he can just tell me he loves me and everything will be fine? It won't be fine, it hasn't been fine for a long time now and I can't change back that easily, I can't change into the girl that I was a long time ago, I really just can't.
I am not that girl, anymore. I am not the person that he remembers, and I doubt he is the one that I remember. He remembers a girl who believed in love and in fairy tales, and that is not me. He hasn't owled me in a while, he says? Yes, I suppose that half a year is a while, is a few months, oh, of course it is! It is a few months that turned his girl, his Padma, into a lush who drinks more than he does, for heaven's sake. What a nasty shock it would be for him, indeed, to see me walking into The Three Broomsticks to see him the way I used to, when everything was okay, when it was normal and my life was normal and I was normal.

I am sure the sight of me will just break his heart, but I won't have mine broken, oh no, never.


Anytime. A Hogsmeade weekend is soon, but perhaps that isn't exactly an opportune time. This Saturday night should be fine. I don't much care where. Outside, perhaps, now that the weather is pleasant.

I do not know who I am anymore and you won't either, maybe we shouldn't do this, I have settled comfortably into the routine of madness I am afraid that I have changed somewhat I am afraid you won't wantneedlove me anymore, please perhaps this is wrong

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